I couldn't take it anymore

Sitting in the kitchen having my coffee when I looked at the wall it suddenly opened, and a face appeared, he had red hair and freckles, glasses and was a big man, he just looked at me, and this feeling came over me I sat my cup of coffee down, and swallowed. Was that David? I just saw? But he is young, the last time I had seen David was 12 years ago, I worked with him at the nursing home oh so long ago, in Montana. He was young. Then I started to panic a little, then he started to tell me what had happened. He had committed suicide and the next thing he impressed on me was how sorry he had been that he had done that to himself, and then he knew the moment he had done it that it was wrong, and he wanted to change it.
 I stood up, and said omg, and phoned a friend who I was still in contact with and asked had David done this? Yes, he was gone, committed suicide. I was devastated, how did this happen? Why ? He was so lonely. He felt trapped, no way out, locked in, no where to go so, while drinking and taking pills shot himself. I can see him there looking at me telling me this story, and his soft voice in my head. Then he showed me his family, his sister, and the hurt, they were close lived close to each other. He said he can see now that he was trapped within his own mind, and that there was a way out, but he could not see it, and then when he saw the other side and the beauty, and the gift that life was, he was so sorry, I asked sorry to who, and he said his self for not loving himself more, and knowing that there was more.

 So now he is on the other side, and he looks just like he did when I knew him in life, when we worked together now almost 20 years ago, and he helps when ever I do a reading of a suicide, or its in the reading, he will show up, and help me and the client get through this, as family of course don't understand, why they kill them selves, all the family understands at that time is that it hurts, and they miss them. David also told me some important information, that he was going to have to do the same circumstances over again, in the next life, and maybe the next time after learning all this he would be strong enough to pull through with out suicide.

 They have to come back and go through the same experience again, until they can grow past this barrier. I love David, when he was alive, he was a totally unselfish person, he helped me many times, and my family. David helps me still, on the other side, making sure, that I have the help I need to connect, and how I do that.

 I love you David I always will my friend.

 When my family was struggling with bills, he brought us food, when we struggled with life he was always there. He still is.

 Love always Renee